H C Singh

How To Be Your Own Best Friend by MILDRED NEWMAN and Bernard Berkowitz – A brief review

Both the authors are top raking psychologists and are wife and husband. It has been written on the top of the cover of the book – “World’s best- Loved best seller”. By going through the book one feels it is true. Even introduction of the book is enlightening and helps modern man to overcome his depression and not to accept depression as something that can not be got rid of and replaced by happiness and adventurous life. “We take very seriously pursuit of happiness and believe that we describe better than we have got”.

The Book has been written for weltode educated people and not for poor, uneducated or with little education doing daily labour for their livelihood whether they are in advance prosperous countries like USA (which is in debt crisis these days) or Asia and African Countries where 30 percent or more are below poverty level. However for the educated Americans (for whom the book was meant) and educated Asians, Africans, it is much educative and enlightening as for Americans and Europeans.

Why so many educated people all over the world feel depressed and dissatisfied in many ways? Because many people have not that sense of zest in their daily lives. Too many have just not mastered the art of being happy. Self realization is very important. A man cannot be perfect in art, science, writing articles or being a top most speaker. Every person has one aspect of knowledge and zest for it. It is important to be successful and be happy if one taps his own potential.

Feelings are mysterious; they come and go and most of the time you don’t know why one has a right to his feelings as he wants and when he wants “To feel all that you can feel is to be truly human”. But one should not be all the time clinging to unpleasant feeling or even court them. That is wrong and unhealthy. You must be proud of what you have achieved howsoever little or insignificant it may be to you or others. To quote from the book “when you do something you are proud of, dwell on it a little, praise yourself for it, relish the experience, take it in. Don’t do things that make you feel bad instead do things that make you feel good about yourself, be incharge of yourself which is quite exhibrating”.

Most important is to love thyself. If one cannot love himself, he cannot love his neighbours friends and family members as well as needy others. One should not dwell on defects or failure or bad days which are bound to be there but one should think about the time when one was wise and kind. One has to do things and make efforts about new things that one has never done before, even not fully successful like climbing Mount Everest. Something you never dreamt of doing before, like attempting to climb Mount Everest, that is what is growth that is courage to forget even defects and failures and aim at success in some new adventure. We can all do much more than we think but first we have to believe it.

If one wants to become all that is in him to become he has to use everything he has got- his feelings, intuition intelligence and willpower-the whole self. If one does all this “the payoff is enormous”. Rousseau had said Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains but the book contains golden rule. “Man is born in chains but each of us has the potential to be free” Man should work to overcome his difficulties and drawbacks “there is room for many marvelous people in the world”.

Brief review of the book “How to be your own best friend” will enlighten and encourage everyone with concluding para from the book “We can all help ourselves to change, to grow, to become the person it is in us to be we can learn to be our own best friend. We are our best source of encouragement and good advice. We are all accustomed to waiting for someone to give us a kind word, but we really have available to ourselves many kind words”.

August 12, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Nice review…

    Comment by Vishal Srivastava (@vishalsrivastav) | August 14, 2011 | Reply

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